Standard Pattern Everything… You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

“Everything’s standard pattern! This is the Imperial fething Guard! Standard pattern boots, standard pattern mess-tins, standard pattern bodybags! I’m a standard pattern infantryman and you’re a standard pattern no-neck, and any minute now my standard pattern fist is going to smack your nose bone back into your very sub-standard pattern brain!”

Man, I lost it when the Ghosts realized they got issued standard pattern 5 ammo instead of 3. Absolute chaos.

Every now and then, a Black Library author really nails the real horror of endless war: pointless bureaucracy, absurd logistics, and the kind of paperwork that makes you want to run into traffic.

Avi said:
Every now and then, a Black Library author really nails the real horror of endless war: pointless bureaucracy, absurd logistics, and the kind of paperwork that makes you want to run into traffic.

Yeah, sometimes that old-school 40k satire really shines through.

@Brice
One of my favorite voice lines in Darktide pokes fun at the whole Astra Militarum renaming nonsense from an in-universe perspective.

It goes something like:

‘Dunno why the higher-ups keep calling it the Astra Militarum. It’s the Guard! It’ll always be the Guard!’

I cracked up the first time I heard it.

@Uma
Most of the name changes are terrible, but at least Aeldari/Asuryani/Drukhari aren’t the worst. Age of Sigmar got Aelves. Those poor souls.

At least with the Imperium, you can pretend it’s all High Gothic nonsense that no one actually says unless a Commissar is watching.

@Colby
Took me an embarrassingly long time (like, a decade) to realize Militarum Tempestus is just a fancy way of saying Storm Troopers.

‘Tempest’ means ‘Storm.’ It went straight over my head. Not my proudest moment.

@Colby
As someone with dyslexia, it took me forever to realize they changed ogres to ogors. What was even the point?

@Uma
Astra-what-now? Son, you’re in the Guard!

Avi said:
Every now and then, a Black Library author really nails the real horror of endless war: pointless bureaucracy, absurd logistics, and the kind of paperwork that makes you want to run into traffic.

One of the opening chapters of Double Eagle has a Munitorum truck driver getting his pay docked because he went a few milliliters over his fuel ration. Bureaucracy at its finest.

Avi said:
Every now and then, a Black Library author really nails the real horror of endless war: pointless bureaucracy, absurd logistics, and the kind of paperwork that makes you want to run into traffic.

In the grim darkness of the far future, logistics will be your worst nightmare.

This kinda thing happens in real life too. The US Army has a ridiculous number of things named M1—M1 rifle, M1 knife, M1 tank… it never ends.

Kyle said:
This kinda thing happens in real life too. The US Army has a ridiculous number of things named M1—M1 rifle, M1 knife, M1 tank… it never ends.

And then NATO took it up a notch with this madness.

Kyle said:
This kinda thing happens in real life too. The US Army has a ridiculous number of things named M1—M1 rifle, M1 knife, M1 tank… it never ends.

The British Army is just as bad

L1A1 rifle? Sure. L1A1 bayonet? Why not. L1A1 rocket launcher? Oh yeah, we’ve got three different ones.

And then there’s L1A1 Linear User Filled Demolition Charge and L1A1 Conical User Filled Demolition Charge. What even is this system?

Kyle said:
This kinda thing happens in real life too. The US Army has a ridiculous number of things named M1—M1 rifle, M1 knife, M1 tank… it never ends.

Wait, I thought the US and NATO used cool names like Stormshadow, while China was the boring one with ‘Type-200’?

@Fern
Stormshadow is actually a UK-French weapon. The Brits call it Stormshadow, the French call it SCALP EG.

The US is weird—some stuff gets model numbers, some gets cool names.

Examples:

A-10 = Warthog
M16A4 (no fancy name here)
M249B (same deal)
M1 Abrams
AH-64 Apache
F-35 Lightning
M1 Garand
M1 Thompson
M1 Carbine
M1 Helmet

They just do whatever they feel like, I guess.

@Jules
It depends on the type of equipment.

Small arms? M-designation with a descriptor (M4A1 Carbine, M17 Pistol).

Tanks? M-designation + some general’s name (M1 Abrams, M3 Bradley).

Aircraft? Letter-number + a badass name (F-22 Raptor, A-10 Thunderbolt/Warthog).

Missiles? Straight acronyms (AMRAAM, JASSM, ATACMS).

Ships? Class is named after the lead ship, and the numbering is its own complicated mess (USS Wyoming SSBN-742, USS John F. Kennedy CVN-79).

@Bay
Missiles technically have designations too—AIM-9, AIM-120, AGM-65, etc. But no one really uses those unless they have to.

Abnett really nails the little things that make military life frustrating. I’m a vet, and I gotta say, some of his stuff hits way too close to home.

Hadi said:
Abnett really nails the little things that make military life frustrating. I’m a vet, and I gotta say, some of his stuff hits way too close to home.

Which series is this post about?

@Dana
Gaunt’s Ghosts.